Another day, another great day. Well, everyday is great with the Lord.

This is where I am, longing to know Jesus more and more. I mean, how can I not know someone who loves so much, He would be so patient to wait over fourteen years for me to accept Him? How can I not know someone who loves me so much, He would die for me on the cross for all my sins, saving me from the tormenting fire of hell into the Kingdom of God? How can I not know someone who loves me so much, He would put me in pure science, regardless of my extremely poor results?

It may seem unfair, but that's not the point. I have no clue to all those questions. That's why I want to know, and that's why I am here.

I do not understand electricity, but that does not mean that I intend to sit in the dark until I figure it out. The same is true for Christianity. - Anonymous

There are many things about the electricity God provides us with that I don't know. Back then, I was still sitting in the darkness, not knowing electricity yet. Suddenly I saw light from above, brighter than the sun, blazing around me. Before me stood an angel, stretching out his hand, and another voice spoke, "Come to Me, your Father, and you shall face no more darkness."

What would you do if you were me? When your world is in pitch black, and suddenly someone in a bright world comes and wants to share with you what he has, would you just accept and join him in a world where there is the power of His electricity, or would you ask questions about the electricity, contradicting the theory of it? Would you rather live in light for eternity, or stay in darkness first and will only enter the light when you fully understand electricity?

It seems tough to understand, but let me explain my italics. The electricity is Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins, giving us light, the eternal life with God, and the relationship with God and His family. The angel is Kaisheng, who shared Christ with me, and how his life has turned around, from darkenss to light. Darkness refers to my life before I was a Christian; My sinful and meaningless life, under Satan's torture. The theory of electricity is the Word of God.

Many people would just stay in darkness first and ask questions about the theory, just to avoid becoming Christians (I still wonder what's so bad about becoming a Christian). But the light is already there, showing them that that is the life that Christians enjoy, but they just don't see it when they become rebellious and contradicting to the theory.

By asking those kind of questions, they'll never get their answers. Learning and understanding God and His ways are to be taken step by step. The first step is to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour and to believe that Jesus is the Son of God; To trust the electricity and entering the light. The next step is to confess that you are a sinner and repent all your sins; To realise and accept the fact that you're living in darkness, and come out of it.

By doing these, you are in the light. You may not feel it yet, but it takes time. It is then you will gradually know God through experiences and by reading the theory, the Word of God. Slowly, many of your questions will be answered.

That is how the Christian Walk goes. That is how we come to know and understand more about our Great Father. We will only know Him and feel His presence when we have the desire to experience it ourselves. I had many questions in my mind when I just accepted Christ, some even contradicting. Slowly many were answered through circumstances. I found out that many of my questions were irrelevant, and they were just cleared out of my mind.

It's good to ask questions, even contradicting ones, because it shows that you have the desire to know more about Christianity. But the only way to get your questions answered is through these steps. Jesus said,

' Ask and it will be given to you;
Seek and you will find;
Knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who askes receives;
He who seeks finds;
And to him who knocks,
The door will be opened. '
- Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

Only if you have the desire to seek and know more about God, we will find it eventually. The door will open only if you knock.

This goes out to all my non-Christian friends out there. If you are still living in darkness, I challenge you, follow me, follow us...

The light shines before you. He is calling for you. When will you answer?

It's Chinese New Year! Just want to wish my brethrens and sistrens out there, God bless for this new year!

Enjoy this time, but guys, we musn't forget our Father, but always remember what He has done for us. He has done lots for me.

As I look back at the days I had in 2003, I always felt like crying. Not feeling sad, but overjoyed instead.

Basically, my life stunk before I accepted Jesus. Because I was some act-cool loser who was extremely egoistic and hot-tempered, many disliked me. I only had a few close friends like Ming Rong and Nicholas, but they weren't that close to me either because I was always in BGRs. None of those BGRs worked as well, instead it made my life much more worse. I don't think any of those girls even 'love' me at all, and neither did I really 'love' them.

At home, my attitude changed as well. I wasn't only less open to my parents, I disrespected them. I argued and quarrelled with them either when I got back bad test results or when I talked back to them impolitely. Behind their backs, I would even curse them with vulgarities.

I was also backstabbed by a friend of mine. He went around to people and framed my name and said that I did things which I did not, and I said things about people which I did not. It increased the hatred the people had on me. That really completed the puzzle of a messed up life.

During the end days of being in Satan's torture, I was still attached with a girl. She sort of played with my feelings and all. When I asked her out she would find all excuses to reject. She was clearly avoiding me. I sometimes felt like asking her for us to break up, for why even go steady when she doesn't like me? But I did not have the guts. Correction, I NEVER had guts to do anything at all. There was once, because of her, I felt like committing suicide.

That was my life. I hated it. I thought to myself, if I died, would the world even bother? Or would they even know? I tried all ways to find a purpose in life but it stayed meaningless.

Until Kaisheng shared Christ with me on MSN, and brought me to the Red Rain concert. I didn't know it was a Gospel band at first, until I went there with Nic and Ming Rong. After the concert, Michael Turner preached about Jesus and how He has changed many lives. That's when I realised I needed God very badly, for my life was REAL messed up.

Kaisheng told me about his experience with God, how he has changed through God's Power and Love, and how he has acomplished goals like scoring first in class (he sucked in studies before that) and achieving the Chief Comissioner Award (the most prestigious award in Scouting, he got in on his first try, while others failed). If you first look at him you would think of a loser, but he isn't, for Jesus lives in him.

That one day came when I quarrelled and broke up with my ex. I was really very upset, I thought my life has ended. But something I seeked God then. It was one quiet time I did that very few new Christians would have thought doing. I asked God if she was the right girl for me, and also prayed for myself to have a better life and a better character.

Then came the power of God when I slept. Through those 8 hours He mended my broken heart and modified my character. I woke up as a whole different person. I was not the Gabriel that I used to be. It was the first morning I greeted my parents. It was the first time I never felt angry with anything or anyone, instead it was the first time I smiled and felt so happy after an extremely long time. It was the first day I felt so refreshed. Most of all, I did not mourn over my loss of my ex. I thought to myself: Why am I feeling so strangely... positive? Then I remembered about the prayer. I then knew and realised that God is real. Who could changed in just 8 hours? Who could get over a broken relationship overnight?

I made a decision on that day, and that is to give my life to Jesus. And I decided to come to Heart of God church and get planted. I became very on fire for God and never missed a single church service (excluding the two weeks when I was in Penang in November). But I did it secretly for the fear that my buddhist parents would find out.

I also realised that my studies sucked when I looked through the results of my past tests and mid year exam one day. From that day onwards, I decided to work harder.

I did my best, and so I did well in my exams. But my past tests and mid year pulled my results down to 56.5% for overall, and 313 in level position out of 360 students. My science got only 63 and I failed 2 subjects. Only had one A1 and that is Maths (75). While my friend got 62.3% overall and 200+ in level, passing all subjects, scoring the same marks as me for science but much higher than me in Maths (80+). The obvious person to have a higher chance of entering pure science is, of course, him. Face it, my results is far from entering pure science. I need 65% for science and maths, and 65% for overall. Everyone turned down my chances of entering pure science, especially Mr Yap, our ex Scouting teacher-in-charge who is also a Science teacher.

But no. God was only testing my faith. I trusted God and was very confident that He would help me, and yes, He did. The day of the posting came, and I entered pure science. I shouted with joy. It was clear that my that friend would have a higher chance of entering pure, but he did not. He entered combined science instead. So clearly that it was a miracle created by God. I shouted to the Lord. Praise Him.

My parents found out about me going to church. They did not object or anything. So my walk of faith continued.

The school days ended, and me and MR concentrated on reaching out to the souls of the TK people. It was tough. But we kept our faith. Eventually some came. People like Adrian, Li An, Sim Yee, Brandon, Matthew, Nic and David.

Then annual camp came. I went in and did my best, and I came out one of the best. I saw what I was at this camp, and compared it to what I was last year at the same camp. I realised that joining Scouts was the turning point for me.

Like Pst Lia said, it was one great miracle. What if I never joined Scouts? What if I never knew Kaisheng? What if Kaisheng never brought me to church? Even if I knew Kaisheng and he EV-ed me, what if I turned him down and walk on with the miserable life under Satan's torture, making the greatest mistake ever by missing the greatest Miracle of all time? When I think back, I just want to go down on my knees and cry out a thankful word to the Lord. He has saved me from all the sorrows and torments. He has pulled me from hell fire into the clouds of Heaven.

That is my life in 2003. I would entitle it after the song "Through It All" if I were to write a book on it or film a movie of it, for God was with me throughout that whole year, setting the path for me to walk, and eventually finding Him. He has done this much for me, showing His Great Love, lifting me up. A new person, a new life, new goals, new purpose in life, great friendships, no more desperate cry for love. Who needs BGR? I'm loved by the greatest Person. I'm no longer a nobody, I'm someone, or at least someone in the eyes of the Father.

Now, 2004, it would be the year that me, MR, Nic, Sam and David bring revival into TK. Being part of the chosen generation, we will reach out for them. Many people will then experience what I did; Many miracles will happen. Like Northbrooks, TK will be saved.

Gone are those days
Of despise and anger.
Blindsided with slander,
Where are those "jokes"? I still wonder.

Gone are those days
Of feuds and ill-remembrance.
No peace, no silence,
With expletives and violence.

Gone are those days
Of attitude problems and mood swings.
Easily angered by little things,
The "temper alarm" always rings.

Gone are those days
Of disappointing results.
Cursing with insults,
For all the regretful faults.

Gone are those days
Of lonliness and rejection.
Cries of desperation
For "love" with no satisfaction.

Gone are those days
Of sin and crime.
Obsessed with a "swine",
Whom I realised isn't worth my time.

Gone are those days
For saved am I.
Born again, a second cry
Thanks to the Lord on high.

Gone are those days
For He turned my life around.
Now that Him I have found,
Devil, you shall go back down.

Gone are those days
For "all things are possible", He said.
Away my doubts and worries fade.
With faith and confidence, miracles I made.

Gone are those days
For now He lives in me.
Once grouchy, now always happy,
My eyes can finally see.

Gone are those days
Because He is always there
To show me so much love and care.
Doubt Him I shall never dare.

Gone are those days,
Sinful I am no longer.
As the King is my Heavenly Father,
I'm a prince, never again a loser.
-Gabriel

I love you Jesus. I lay down my life for You.